The Barbie Mystery: the glitch in the psychological effects.

Fooling around with a box of dolls in the Women’s Center, I became curious to know how owning a Barbie or Ken doll as a child affects the physique and attitudes we have today. So I approach different women and I posed the following questions:


• As a child, how significant was the Barbie doll?
• Did you ever want to be like or possess physical traits like Barbie?

Most women said that the Barbie doll was a significant toy in their youth. Some elaborated on the optional accessories that Matel released for Barbie, such as the Barbie Dream House, Car, Van, even the My Size Barbie. The second question resulted in mixed responses. When asked did they want to be like Barbie as a youth, many agreed by mentioning her professional success. She has had over 90 occupations and the number continues to increase! Others commented on her fashion; from the shoes, outfits and sunglasses, Barbie is truly the best dressed and most successful inanimate object ever!
When asked if Barbie’s physical traits had an impact on the way the women see themselves today, the women referred to her body type, hair and makeup. Those who discussed Barbie’s body type agreed that they once desired a body like hers, but the desires faded as they aged. Barbie has always had great hairstyles and practically all the dolls I owned had straight silky hair. I know from experience that growing up with coarse hair, it was a struggle to understand why my hair could not be like hers. The solution to my issue and I am pretty sure most women who had a similar struggle was to either straighten the hair with chemicals or wear a weave.
This is not a decision that one makes spontaneously. The neighborhood pharmacies and supermarkets have a complete isle dedicated to hair care. Ninety to about ninety five percent of the products are user friendly for those with silky straight hair, while the rest is the natural/ethnic hair care section. Ironically, the ethnic products are very minimal in amount and next to those products are relaxers; the not- so- natural chemicals necessary for straightening one’s hair.

Then I held up the Ken doll… and here’s where the interesting stuff happened
I asked:


• Did you own the Ken doll as well? If so, have you looked for a man with the same physical traits and materialistic possessions as Ken, i.e. his body and hot car?

For those who did own the Ken doll, the results were shocking but at the same time reasonable. If you owned the “hottest doll on the planet,” in my opinion, it would be only right to have her hot companion in your collection as well. When asked if they have looked for a man with a body like Ken, it is pretty expected for most women to say yes, JUST LOOK AT THE DOLL!! Though it would be nice to have a male companion with a six pack of abs a hot car and unemployed, I found that it is quite easy to find a man with one of the three stated traits, but difficult to find one who has them all.

Aside from learning that women looked for a man that looks like Ken physically, one woman confessed that she wanted a guy with a nice car like Ken's. When I asked her have any of the men she dated own a luxury car, she responded, “No.”

Intriguing enough, most women desire to look a certain way and have a partner that is nonexistent. Neither Barbie nor Ken has aged since! Barbie is over 50 years old with a body of a 21 year old. Most of us kick those desires after some time. Why is that? Well for one, we realize that we owned these dolls when we were uncertain of our own identity,(sometime between the post- toddler,adolescence era.); the time in our lives when we were most impressionable and naïve. Through the years, some women take heed to and acknowledge that not all women can look like Barbie or have the luck of finding a man that looks like Ken. While sadly other women risk their lives, undergoing plastic surgery and other procedures to alter their physical appearance to be doll- like.

LAST NIGHT, LOIS WAS…. THE MAN!

I remember in an episode of Martin, the story line consisted of Martin finding out that his girlfriend Gina makes significantly more money than he does. Martin immediately becomes upset because Martin’s friends were present at the time, and it consequently sparked a feeling of weakness and “emasculation.”

Also in an episode of Family Guy, Lois is convinced by her friend Bonnie, Joe Swanson’s wife (the one who has been pregnant for about 8 seasons), to take Tae Jitsui. Lois becomes extremely good and she is even invited by the sensei to take advanced classes. She develops (or better yet, reveals), her violent side with the help of tae jitsui. When the other women in the dojo were asked to compete against Lois, they refuse, scared and possibly not well trained like Lois. Lois then violates the sensei’s rules by challenging and actually beating him. The teacher has now become the student. At the peak of her adrenaline and aggression, Lois pulls Peter towards her, kisses him, grabs his penis and says “This is mine. This is where my babies come from.” Completely embarrassed and mortified, Peter stands in shock as the whole audience is left with their mouths open and eyes bulging out the sockets.

The result of Lois taking Tae jitsui is chaos. Peter dislikes the new Lois, and even claims to have been emasculated during sexual intercourse. “Last night,” he explains to Brian with a facial expression as if he were traumatized, “Lois was THE MAN.” One can infer that “THE MAN” can only be that Lois took on Peter’s usual role as the dominant figure last night. Again the unpleasant look upon his face shows that Peter did not enjoy it, but was rather used to provide the sexual pleasure and not get any in return, which was Lois’s original role.

What I find interesting is, Peter in the beginning, used Lois to beat up other men when he stirred up controversy. In fact, this whole Tae Jitsui thing began after Lois sucker punched a man who attacked Peter. As a reflex, she did what she could to help Peter. Who would simply stand and watch the person they love suffer a beating? For Peter’s own personal amusement, he took Lois everywhere he went like a cool new toy, displaying her cool “tricks” to everyone. He even went as far as selling tickets to his neighbors to see “Lois in action.”

When it came down to his own masculinity, Peter no longer found Lois’s antics amusing, especially when it came to sex. Forced into an unusual and as Peter may put it, “unacceptable” role during their sexual encounter, he felt less than a man. Similar to the episode of Martin mentioned earlier, it could be said that ideas such as money and sexuality govern a man’s masculinity. When one of these ideas, for example the size of one’s manhood, is challenged by another man, the man who “lacks” in that department may have his pride affected the most. Whereas in this episode of Family Guy, Lois’s heightened aggression and sexuality sends Peter into great despair.
So what does this mean? Could it be that a woman has the ability to emasculate a man if she excels and he lacks or isn’t up to par? How could a woman make a man feel less than a MAN? This seems pretty impossible, but if we consider how society and the media have constructed the role of a man, then a woman can actually “emasculate” any man.

When I think back, being the youngest of two brothers and two sisters, the lessons were definitely different. My sisters were encouraged to find a man who “had something going for themselves” and by that, I think my parents actually meant “He better have a job that pays more than minimum wage, and he BETTER NOT live with his mother.” I do agree with my parents. Though it is very difficult to survive on some of the considerably decent salaries, life would be less stressful than having absolutely no income at all. For my brothers, however, the lesson was more about finding a woman who is independent but can rely on you for anything. I know it seems a little challenging to follow, but think about the overall lesson: a man should want a woman who can do for herself, but she shouldn’t have to do it ALL and a woman should want a man who can provide for himself.

Women are raised with heavy expectations of men and men are instilled with expectations from childhood. When a man feels that he has not met these expectations, based on what his family, friends and environment has defined a man to be, he is forced to question or doubt his masculinity, just like Peter and Martin.

Action and thriller movies in particular place a heavy emphasis on masculinity in forms of strength and “bad-ass” attitudes. Is it possible to resolve the problem if the actors had roles that pertained to heartbreaks and maternity?

I'm Not Your "Baby": Thoughts about Street Harassment

(*This article is specifically referring to street harassment of women by male strangers, but does not mean to imply that that is the only type of street harassment. It does not mean to invalidate or deny existence of other forms of harassment.)

Street harassment is certainly not a new phenomenon; unfortunately, it seems to be one that is continually underestimated. Many women have endured countless catcalls, whistles, and nasty comments from complete strangers on a regular basis. These incidents alienate women from public spaces, since it makes for an unsafe and uncomfortable environment.

Such incidents are particularly alarming because violent words can and often do lead to violent actions against women. Remarks are implicitly threatening and define women as sexual objects, rather than as friends, neighbors, and fellow human beings. Once perpetrators begin to see women in this image, it can lead to results beyond inappropriate remarks. Is threatening a woman a much bigger step from unwelcome and blunt “flirtation”? What about touching her? What about forced sexual acts? Although unwelcome dialog can stand on its own, the problem can escalate in a quick and dangerous cycle.

In order to avoid provoking attacks, women are told to ignore comments, keep their heads down, walk more quickly, or dress more conservatively. This advice, however well-intended it may be, perpetuates victim blaming. If a woman is harassed or assaulted, it is not because of what she is wearing, how she looks, or how she acts. It is not because she provoked it. It is because the other person cannot or will not control himself and he is completely responsible for his actions.

When I have been the subject of random harassment in the past, I felt ashamed and humiliated. I had wished I could have conveyed to those people how inappropriate it was and that it made me uncomfortable, but my younger self was embarrassed and I felt silenced. Since then, I’ve still experienced an unwarranted share of harassment from strangers, but now I realize that I have other options besides remaining unspoken.

Assertive responses seem to be a successful approach. The perpetrator may be taken aback because I am stepping outside their preconceived idea of me: being compliant with whatever comes out of their mouth. Keeping calm (even if I am not!) is important, because projecting anger or aggression can elevate the situation and can cause the perpetrator to become angered or aggressive. Maintaining a controlled tone and using statements rather than requests project that I am in control. I do not apologize or say “excuse me”, but if I feel safe doing so, I give a direct command: “Stop doing this.” There is no obligation to engage in dialog with the perpetrator. If they want to talk back, I try to just repeat myself and leave.

Indirect action to combat harassment may also be helpful. Stop Street Harassment and The Street Harassment Project provide some fantastic flyers and cards which can be posted or displayed in vulnerable areas. These can promote conversations about harassment which help promote the idea that this is everyone’s issue. Women have the right to be in public places without incident. Men have the right to not be feared because of a number of perpetrators giving them a negative reputation. Conversations keep this an active issue. No one should have to put up with harassment, and silence can be an indirect form of acceptance.

If I’m in a public place and I experience street harassment, I get the message that as a woman, I am unwelcome in public space. Anyone should feel entitled to walk somewhere safely, without risk of harassment or worse. Unfortunately as long as harassment exists, this will not be the case, but this is unacceptable. These comments are unwelcome, they are inappropriate, and they need to stop altogether.

Vote local, Think Global!

In the 2008 Presidential elections there were unprecedented numbers of young voters. The effort made to participate in this capacity was truly commendable. However, most voters still mistakenly believe that national elections are more important than local ones. National elections are widely funded and publicized so they get more attention, more polarization and hence, more voters think they are more important. While national elections are important, truth is…local elections affect your life disproportionately more than presidential bids. Your senator, congressperson, and local representatives are the closest to you existence and make decisions that affect your life and livelihood. This is why it is especially more important to participate local elections. Most people, especially young people, who made up a major percentage of voters in the 2008 elections, know very little about what is going on or who is in office in their city or town. By getting involved in local politics, you can better present your views to those representing you, you have the ability to hold your elected officials accountable for their promises and actions, and you get to play a major role in the practices of your neighborhood. By voting in your town for officials you can vote for those who support the causes that you support and who in turn put stronger pressure on the national political process. This is because more people like you are becoming better informed and involved in the process. While participating in local elections seem like they won’t change much, they enormously help decide the type of and how much taxes you have to pay, the safety of your area, effectiveness of the public school systems, transparency of politicians, distribution of funds, transportation accessibility, and many more. Suffice to say; engaging with one’s community by voting in local elections is vital. Now, what does this have to do with anything? Well, besides being a useful life lesson, tomorrow, 11/2/10, is Election Day. You will have the opportunity to vote for local and state representatives! Go out and practice the right that thousands of people have fought and died for you to have. Don’t wait another four years to have your voice heard. Get out there and cast your ballot. Happy voting!

All Chocolate, All the Time?

Just last weekend, I was sitting in my bed at home, alone, merely indulging in Lindt Lindor Truffles. I meditated over its savory and delicious flavors, wondering how anyone could possibly want to do anything else on a Saturday night. Of course, I ate it in slow motion and closed my eyes the entire time – I didn’t want to ruin the ambiance.

Alright, sounds strange? You bet, although this would probably not be considered abnormal if I was a woman in a chocolate commercial. Sarah Haskins from infoMania points out how ridiculous the marketing industry can be in its attempts to reach out to women:



In this video segment, Sarah satirically comments on chocolate commercials designed to target women. Chocolate is typically romanticized and even sexualized in these advertisements. It is portrayed as a substitute lover, who will never cheat or leave. The woman is always in control of this chocolate; in return, it provides her with happiness, pleasure, and emotional gratification. You will never be alone, because you are with the greatest partner of all: chocolate!

Not only is this chocolate-as-lover perspective bizarre, but it also caters to the fact that many people have indulged in comfort eating at some point or another. Going through a bad breakup? Cuddle up with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s! Found out your lover cheated on you? Get a new one: chocolate. Commercials channel this feeling toward women by promoting the “chocolate=happiness” message, yet in feelings of sadness, heartbreak, stress, and worry, chocolate cannot provide a woman with emotional support. It will not provide relief, comfort, or absolute happiness. Eating is not an adequate way to deal with actual problems. Well played, sneaky ad campaigns, but you can’t fool us -- chocolate is merely another food that all types of people can enjoy for its taste, not for how it supposedly makes you feel.

Response to suicides of LGBT Youth

Several days ago, I turned on the news and listened half-heartedly to what was going on in the world between sips of coffee. It was early; I was tired. I didn’t expect to hear the story of 18-year-old Tyler Clementi, a gay Rutgers University freshman who committed suicide on Wednesday after his roommate and a friend streamed videos of Tyler’s sexual relationship online.

After looking into this story from other sources, I learned that this case, though devastating, was not unique. In the past three weeks, there have been at least five known suicides of LGBT youth, most of which seem to have been in response to harassment and bullying by their peers. The classmates of Asher Brown, 13 years old, teased him and performed mock homosexual acts in gym class, which went unpunished. Seth Walsh, 13 years old, couldn’t deal with the constant torment from his fellow students and died in a hospital days after attempting suicide. Billy Lucas, 15 years old, was called a “fag” and told by classmates to kill himself. Raymond Chase, 19 years old, was a sophomore at Johnson and Wales University and presumably endured bullying because of his sexuality.

The suicides of these children may seem like a faceless statistic – just five of thousands of victims of bullying - but they were someone’s friend, someone’s child, someone’s neighbor. They had their entire lives ahead of them. It’s an absolute tragedy that their lives were cut short due to the unnecessary pain they were experiencing. Who knows how many LGBT kids have similar premature deaths or silent sufferings as a result of intolerance?

I can’t help but think, “what if?” What if someone could have intervened and convinced them that it’s okay to be themselves? What if they had known more about the resources available to them? It is unfortunate that children continue to be deprived of resources, information, and role models in their lives. I would like to mention the “It Gets Better” Project, a YouTube video series created by Dan Savage, which promotes the message that - no matter how people treat you now – it gets better. Adult members of the LGBT community can submit videos explaining their story and how it gets better. Projects like this are taking a step in the right direction and providing hope to teens going through similar experiences.

I hope that our society can look at these incidents as a wake-up call and change attitudes about sexual identities in a positive way, rather than neglecting others who need support and encouragement. If we are not compelled to initiate change, we are dishonoring the memories of these children’s lives. I hope that it will not take any more stories like these for people to be inspired to take serious action against LGBT bullying and that there will be a brighter dawn for future children in these circumstances.

E “A”SY

When I first saw the preview for the film in the movie theater two months ago, I was anticipating its release. However, since I have become extremely active with work and other activities, I still have not had the opportunity to see this film. What grabbed my attention about this movie was the fact that it was the typical high school drama. The movie spotlights something I like to call “the rumor virus,” which in this case, infects practically every character. The main character, Olive Prendergast, experiences how quickly a little white lie can spread and ruin reputations. A faked sexual encounter causes her entire school to talk. She is both glorified and ridiculed. While some students put her on a pedestal, other students paint her as the Whore of Babylon. The icing on the cake is the writers’ display of wittiness by making an illusion to Nathaniel Hawthorne’s masterpiece,
The Scarlet Letter. The red letter “A” (which represents adulterer) was used in the book to identify and dehumanize Hester Prynne. This identifying mark served as an all access granted pass to judge, mistreat and scorn Prynne. Easy “A” pushes home the idea that a bad reputation sticks. Olive decides to use her false negative reputation by voluntarily wearing the red A on her shirt.

In my own high school experience, there were many girls who were treated in a similar fashion to Olive. Some were guilty and some were innocent. The issue is not whether we can correctly identify the “whore” on campus, but rather if we can allow women to be as sexually active to their heart’s content without the possibility of ridicule and mistreatment. Sexuality is another double standard. Men can allow their sexual desires to run rampant and unchecked with multiple sexual partners and still be respected by most of society. For many women that is not the case; they are still expected to remain in monogamous relationships. Having multiple partners opens the doors for women to be considered “whores,” “tricks,” “harlots,” and much worse. To be involved with multiple people results in sacrificing that woman’s image to a society that is unforgiving and evil.

Society develops morals and values which, the majority of the time, are not consistent. Referring back to The Scarlet Letter, should men too be forced to wear the red “A” if they commit adultery? A man should receive equal embarrassment and humiliation by society as a women should if this is the way society chooses to handle this situations. It should still be considered cheating regardless if the act if carried out by the husband or the wife. For those who are not in a relationship and want to be sexually liberated, let them! What goes on behind closed doors, (or maybe, if they are free spirited), open doors, is the participants’ concern and those unaffected should not have an issue.